Whose arms would I run to if I were drunk and there were no consequences?
Ever since I injured my back, I'm on some serious pain meds and muscle relaxers. These make me have some crazy dreams. A lot of people have been in my dreams. A lot of dreams I never wanted to have.
Oh and I injured myself by getting bucked off of a horse. Her name's River and she's just a baby, barely saddle-broke. She didn't like her bit (we used what's called a broken bit instead of a normal bit). Well the broken bit also didn't have a curb chain which acts as a brake. She got pissy and bucked me off. I hit the ground and I thought something shattered.
Then, there's my ex, Wes, who just got a new girlfriend. I don't know why this eats at me. I broke up with him because he was possessive, jealous, selfish, and we wanted different things. I don't know, I know I could get him back in an instant if I were to shoot him a message and said I missed him. He would dump her and her kid and come back to me. I won't do that. I won't give up everything I have built with Tripp for a feeling a control.
Back to the dreams, of course most people have drug induced dreams of flying on dragons or something of that crazy magnitude. No. I get dreams of watching ex's fall hopelessly in love, while I stand frozen. And in my dreams I'm alone. No Tripp or anyone that loves me. I wake up scared and upset until I calm down and remind myself that I don't actually have feelings for these guys anymore.
These drugs are upsetting me. They mellow me out and that's not my personality and maybe that's why I'm feeling upset. I just can't wait until I get off of them and go back to feeling like myself. Happy and bubbly and hyper.
But in other news I love my new job. I am a runner at a movie theater that you order at your seat and they bring the food to you. It's super busy during the beginning and ends of the movies. Between that we just chill out and talk or go on our phones, and make 8 bucks an hour doing it. I also get as many free movies as I want, can bring as many guests as I want, get 75% off food while I'm working, 50% off when I'm not working, I get to see movies the day before they come out and can bring a guest to it. I'm working with my best friend, Stephen. My boyfriend, Tripp and a fellow reenactor, Ruch are both trying to get jobs their as well. So if they start working their too, this will be the best summer ever.